At first I thought she must have thought I was weak by not responding, but now I realize I must have made her feel invisible and totally on the outside while my husband and I were in the inside the switching of those roles mustve been unbearable to her After all she felt like she was in the inside until she was most definitely out and I didnt let her in!!! Were on the path to divorce, and family members will inevitably ask why. To outsmart her and pretend, while your team gets on her case. This should not be and I will try to avoid Regardless of I have fantasized about that, but what is the best thing to say to her, if anything? She denied knowing he was ever married (lie) and blamed everything on him. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Dude, you need to calm down, relax completely, and get your emotions under TOTAL control. I cut the cord. First of all, even if he did say these things, (which he claims he didn't, but who knows the truth) how could you look your married lover's wife, one who just lost a much wanted pregnancy, straight in the eye and make these claims to her? I was done with him, what had I to say to her not my problem, not my problem, not my with his or her lover? Sleep in the #%(^ing middle. HomeForumsRelationshipsConfronted my wife tonight. BREAKING NEWS: This girl is delusional. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. From her end, while she quietens down for a few months, the fire to cheat and feel the same sexual thrill with another guy, will begin flickering harder once again, and before you realize it she will be back on her knees taking hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in between meals as well. It was a confusing, emotional and destructive time in my life, to say the least. You need to be honest, upfront, and confront her with what you know. Thank you everyone for your patience and understanding in this matter. Believe me, this hot dog addiction, is taking the form of an epidemic in the US. What happened with you two? And if he sense that you are not being straightforward with him, he is unlikely to be open and honest with you (see when people lie). So, what are some factors to consider before talking to the other woman/man? Ignoring this is not an option, it will only eat away at me. As hard as it isyou're probably better cutting your losses now rather than later. If I can only bottle a dosage of reality and sell it FACK! My wife confessed and begged me not to leave, because even though this guy had no other responsibilities and could've spent all his time lavishing my wife with attention, I still treated her better than he did even though I had a FT job, side business, employees, 4 young children, etc etc. How To Instantly Spot A Sociopath Or Narcissist, 10 Inspirational Quotes About Change To Get You Out Of Your Slump. This has nothing to do with each others families. The shocking twist to this story is that the purported man is not only a coworker, Youre as naive as they come. Can you give me any advice? I also wanted an apology from him to me and my wife for exploiting and taking advantage her. I love her so much and am scared to confront her about it for fear of what may happen, I suppose I'm hoping if I ignore it she will get over it and everything will go back to normal, but I know deep down that this is naive and weak. The best way to handle this is for both of you yo say that you love each other, but neither of you are happy. Should I just tell family members the truth about what happened, and let the damage fall out as it may, or should I agree with my wife to keep it a matter just between us two? She sent him a nasty gram including things like " I was forced to listen to her message" that she "almost felt sad for me listening to my voice" and when I asked her for "conformation of status" in my message she replied to him with "That girl has trust issues" he didn't reply. If she is deceptive and lies about the affair then you have your answer you married a cheater. Until you finally hit acceptance. Blessings to all the betrayed out there. She's getting a high off two men fighting for her. If cheaters can't have secret cake (the affair and the marriage), they will settle for a public pick me dance. Frustrating isn't the word for how I felt. This also backfired. Over the 7 weeks ( which is today) I tried 4 times to contact her. It really is the worst! If you are going to talk to him, it is probably best to be honest about how you are feeling without casting it as doing him a favor. So while you may have an The suggestions I offer come from a real life situation wherein the husband out thought, outsmarted, and out maneuvered his cheating wife completely turning the tables on her. Which is why you need to get professionals from outside to step in and fire the big bazookas. My reason is that if a woman loves one she would be there for one and not for any other person. My wife is lying to me. He just needs to do it. What is unfolding right before your eyes is possibly the most painful experience of your life. I had the same thing happen to me and I was polite and cordial and couldn't get out of Dodge fast enough . Fairly abruptly, my wife told me she wanted a trial separation and moved out into her own apartment. Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total), This topic has 9 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated. And to make matters more complicated, how someone responds during the confrontation doesnt necessarily indicate how they will respond after he or she has had time to think about what was said. *If there is any money left, and after youve forgiven them and forgiven yourself for short comings, definitely try to do 1 thing youve never dreamed of doing. She had chosen to trust her husband, I showed her pure ignorance. I was 2,000 miles away from her and my UH, and other than admitting to the affair and saying he was sorry, I didn't get much else from him. You're nuts. Its hard to forgive someone who deserves the worst for destroying your future and your family. I learned a language and met some of the coolest friends. And only one person would be able to keep the $hit from hitting the fan. Rick's comment that people affair down, not up, is very interesting & my guess is that he's right. Your heart is going to be torn to shreds, you self respect would be zero when all is said and done, and its going to leave a huge hole in your soul which would take a long time to fill, if ever. Even so, now you could get her to reconcile on YOUR TERMS. You have every right to feel the way you do. I did this because spouse told me that he told her that we were no longer together. My wife and I are doing very well but still see him all over town daily . I think youre confusedthe person you should be confronting is your wife. She is the one who is cheating, she is the one who has to accountable. T I have a reputation I would not want to tarnish. Designed specifically for wayward spouses, Hope for Healing is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal and develop empathy. I wish i had never done this and had never said anything to my H. Just for my ducks in a row and left preserving my dignity. The PI will further advise you about the possible routes you can take from that point on, possibly: a) legal route leading to separation/divorce. She went for sympathy from her ex-husband as well as mine. It makes sense to want to hurt the other person for bringing so much misery into your life. She also knew I wasn't the first affair and probably wouldn't be the last. Let her go. He called our home (caller ID) and asked for some auto parts store then played it like a wrong number. But thank God I know! Over analysing this is doing my head in - I need to take action, however painful. What you will be going through is denial, bargaining, depression, anxiety, resentment, anger, etc. So he knows hes had what I call his fling. Its hard to do when the AP is the down stairs neighbor and you have to see them multiple times a day and money doesn't allow you to move for 2 more months. Just yesterday, I met with another woman who's been sleeping with my husband for about as long as we've been married. He would lie about the weather if I couldnt see outside the window for myself. 1. I feel that it is great that you do the same . Hugs all around. The love you have for her, and the trust you claim that you have between you, and the fact that your marriage is fairly new, yet, she is already looking to step out and sleep with another man. I can handle the truth, no matter how hard it is and I know that no one owes it to me, but it doesn't mean I won't try to get it. Each person has to make their own decisions, but I hope you don't cause yourself any more pain. You! He was extremely untrustworthy at this time, I felt I needed to hear it from her. Worse, if you come at them all classy -- appealing to their sense of shared humanity and common decency -- they will delight in their superiority. Recovery from my past relationship took over a year, but now Im completely better. Difficult as it is, you MUST keep your feet grounded, and your head and heart on a tight leash. A couple of things to consider: What is your intention? She likes attention and drama. I dont think she really wants to be married to me at all. I work through things and my coping skills are excellent. If anybody would like to talk more efficiently, the only type of communication thats going to work for me in the next fews hours from here on out and weeks is going to be Skype only. So, I dunno, I think it's a case by case scenario. Copyright 2004 I was not prepared for her response (didn't know about the 'fog' of the affair yet) and was completely devastated with her rejection of my commitment to her in spite of learning of her affair. Good luck. I have no idea whether they are still in touch. Can't you see you're dealing with an uber being? Telling them both off about what they did would make me feel so much better. Trying to get them to "get it" is futile. I don't even know if I got the full story but I got enough. KEEP IT FOCUSED ON HER ACTIONS, NOT YOURS. However, there IS good news for each confronting a cheater reaction. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Ill disgrace myself, kids, family if I do that- Ibrahim Badmus. That was certainly true in our situation. The sea calls to you again. Get tested for STD's since you know this is not the first time. I received these apologies (and a convenient denial of my wifes clinical condition; which I found ridiculous but let it go). By Butwhat do you intend to do with this confrontation? I don't want to drag her through the mud. Thank you for stating that the affair partner is seldom a more beautiful or accomplished woman than the wife). Most husbands/BFs get overcome by emotions and make 'self defeating' moves when they discover that the woman they so love is getting banged to her eyeballs by some undeserving dude. I had the AP seek me out, in a place I thought I could be safe from ever seeing her. Did you try marriage counseling? I suppose she didnt give you the respect you deserve in that manner so Ill pick up and if youve got any questions for me nows the time to ask.". He denied it at first but when faced with the undeniable evidence I presented to the pastor he confessed, said he was sorry (to the pastor - never to me or my wife) for what he had done, and that was that. The pain seemed impossible to bear, but I am thankful to God for walking me through every second of it! Last week, while I was at the credit union, I ran into one of our online course Group Leaders; we were discussing one of my recent articles. You can't stop these people if they are determined and have a willing participant. Each day with be different. You deserve better. Build on yourself, learn all you can, and eventually you will love again when you are ready. It almost always ends in tears, anger, resentment, hostility and unbelievable hurt. Always a way out. WebMy wife is in love with another man. WebAny husband would be upset to learn that his wife is in love with someone else. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Look, to exist in an affair for any length of time, you have to be a few sandwiches shy of picnic. How to Deal With a Lying Spouse. We know the AP has traveled to visit the in-laws in the last 18 months--as recently as this past summer. We found out that my wife was just one of at least a dozen other women he had affairs with and his wife was going to confront all of them face to face. However, when I couldnt get a strait answer from her about what type of relationship you and her have I felt a bit unwelcome and left out. He played my wife for over 2 years and found her when she was most vulnerable in this long game. Would you really consider staying with a person who won't tell you the truth, and you have to get the details from their "special friend"? I've documented this experience in previous posts. Even when you come in peace such individuals prefer trouble. Probably convinced her to keep working on mine. It made me feel like a worthless unloveable person . Ive been dwelling on the idea of confronting my wifes lover. First, you must prepare yourself to deal with the situation in a mature manner and you Your wife is either going to fuck him and leave you, or fuck him and continue cheating on you. Taking this type of approach usually achieves the best results in the long run (see should I confront my spouses lover). Hand over the evidence to your attorney. Meredith, I've been married for six years to the love of my life. WebYour spouse has already betrayed your trust at a very basic level, so confronting the other person may provide your spouse with the opportunity to openly demonstrate how much It gave me even more strength and let me feel better about myself. More pressing and pressing and saying that I know there is more you're not telling me, and eventually came the truth. Sadness for the inevitable collateral damage that will result from our divorce, for the family members taking sides, for the joint friends I can no longer talk to. Probably the most haunting aspect of the affair I had was how it finally ended: by speaking to my lover's wife on the phone. advantage during the initial confrontation, will that help you over the course of time? In my case, I had new friends come suddenly into my life, enough intimacy to get through. For instance, what if her lovers are more or I dont even know the person if she has only one lover. She is not the woman you thought she was. You need to calmly explain your feelings and tell her to put herself in your shoes. I want to stay married. Sometimes I wonder if she ever thinks about me or if she still thinks she hates me. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, documented this experience in previous posts, 4 Loving Things Unhappy Husbands Should Do INSTEAD Of Cheating, 6 Signs You're In Love With A SERIOUS Narcissist (And How To Deal), 50 Absolutely Perfect 'I Love You' Quotes That NAIL True Love, Was Your Ex Insane? Obviously, she has her own demons to battle. THAT was my mistake. After she did this for a month, I finally had enough, and called her out publicly on Facebook, which only caused her to escalate even more. What is your deal? Whats wrong with you? Leave the wife and go away its her fault to have her lovers all together. Get rid of her you dont need Act absolutely normal with her, her relations, her friends, coworkers, and any mutual friends. At that point she was responsible for her choice to continue but my husband was the one most responsible. He didnt but I keep a close eye on him. I agree with this article. Cheating is never good, and neither is confronting a cheater and hearing what they have to say. I sure didnt track her down again or confront any other APs, she was the only one that Id met prior to DDay and I felt no desire to seek out the others. We think they have no idea that when my husband met the AP, she was married to one man, living with another man, and getting on Ashley Madison looking for married men for sex. I was drained and ready to move on. I have a public image to protect. It's been many years since that drama unfolded into a finale of heartbreak, tears, and fury. So I did wait for a couple of weeks but then I sent him text messages and told him just what I thought of him and just how bad he had hurt me and my wife and that I was being moved by the Lord to let him know that I forgave him and would pray for him and that I was determined to make our marriage work no matter what . Do you have a general question youd like to ask? When he ended the affair, the in-laws were enraged and drove 8 hours to our city to "comfort her" since she was so devastated. It will make me feel like I am not capable of meeting her needs. Sadness for my four year old son, who through no fault of his own will now live in a split parent situation and will eventually grow to understand what that means. The AP learned I was to be in town and called the police. When she returns home with her cum stained panty underneath, please hug her again, and tell her how much you love her, and how she is the apple of your eye. I sent it to his Dr.s office. Going through this will only be a step closer to acceptance. I need advice on how to handle this with my wife - and if you help me I will post links to videos of her with face blurred I found Affair Recovery when I was at the darkest point in my life, and this course has helped me to get myself on a true path to recovery." It was sweet. The person I need to confront is my spouse. There is a certain freedom there that I havent felt for a very long time. Mine lives on our Street. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Some people respond by backing down, some people respond by attacking, and some people will try to avoid the confrontation So, lesson learned, do not contact the AP. I wish you all strength. Stop hoping, praying, reasoning, panicking, dreaming. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I was done with the lying, the secrecy, and my lover's cowardice. Get a lawyer and get this over with and move on. We all live in the same city..a small one..ugh! Your loving wife is not a seasoned serial cheaterat least not as yet. A: What you experience is a natural emotion of jealousy and insecurity. It gives me more satisfaction to make her feel so insignificant, so little, so meaningless to me and my husband, then any blur of abuse I could ever invent and throw at her. My husband claimed she called it off. But all of this is in hindsight, no one could of predicted this storm.Old hands will retire from their service with you, while new ones will enlist. I am not sorry that I did, but I probably did fuel the fire some. Worked in my case, but I get why you'd advise against it. Like I have won! Don't get me wrong, he is ultimately to blame, as he made the commitment to me, but she really showed her true colors which made it easier for him to pull out of the affair fog. Maybe you did this. The bottom line is that anyone who would knowingly sleep with a married man (or woman) especially when the wife is PREGNANT (as in my case) is a broken human being. He allowed her to remain in control of how this would play out. Every situation is unique, would I recommend it? I did learn some details from his wife after her conversations with him, however, that my wife had been lying about, which was helpful. If you've been tempted to confront the affair partner, leave it to professionals. We treat each other differently now. I just feel like this is the best solution to give me peace of mind. Apparently she has booked an appointment to see a councillor. My advice is that you need to confront your wife. Your relationship is with her, not with her lovers. Usually, it helps to think about what it is you really want to achieve and then devise a strategy that is ethical, honest, and non-confrontational. Made contact. No. You are no longer a husband, but an ex. Guess how far that all fell apart, now being single and at seizure-levels of stress? They didnt decide to wreck your marriage. If I confront my partners lover in public, it wouldnt make any difference. Nigerians can now play the US Powerball $1,100,000,000 Jackpot, The Draw is tonight! You deserve much better than this. My lover's wife ended the conversation by telling me how much she hated me and couldn't think of another person in the whole world that she despised more than me. Wow I never thought to think of it like this. Pointing and laughing? Marriage is between two people; the husband and wife. Not the mental state to be able to think objectively, and without emotions. The letter outlined what had been going on in our lives over the last couple years and how I understood what and why my husband had been looking for attention. I also told him that if he spoke to my wife again I would tell his wife about the affair. She was just trying to "rescue him." altogether. I came clean. It is my wife I have a business with. And why you didnt post there following the replies? They spoke in a similar way. The law states that if you contact somone more than one time and they don't want to her from you because it makes them feel uncomfortable or bad about themselves it can be looks at as a " course of conduct" and you can be issued a warning. How do I confront her? She had been deceiving me for 2 years whilst having an affair with my husband, manipulating situations, even sending anon letters to give me hints he is over the side in the hope I will kick him out do they can be together without me ever realisingwhy all of the sudden she would be telling me the truth. Patience is a virtue, especially under the most trying circumstances. She'll use your snooping as her defence oldest play in the cheater's handbook. As she escalated, I blocked her. Back to my story: I contacted the AP in order to gain insight. If, however, the other person knows intimate details about your relationship, this wont work. Almost a year later, I believe she is giving up. lol! He naturally attributed the initiative in the affair to my wife, while she attributes it to him, but how can I decide who's accurate about that? I hope this vignette is helpful to others thinking about whether to contact an AP. She even apologized, and sounded sincere. Most likely, youll come across as being insincere and manipulative. A person who doesnt live in reality. Its wrong for me to engage her lover in afight in public. Before that happens, you need to serve her the papers. It's ours. The guys are pretty good, and they will document her and her dudes little lovestory and also collect pics and (possibly videos) of their love filled encounters. She knew I existed. Making a habit of going out of the house regularly will help tremendously with depression. I think, the storm has passed. Confronting a cheating spouse is an opportunity for making things better. How is it that someone can willingly mess with your life to this extreme and you can't even say boo to them because it makes them uncomfortable? She will need to resolve her feelings. But the pain never really goes away completely. her that I felt there was no possible path forward for us- that divorce was the only option. To this day my ex wife does not know how I found out. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Again he didn't reply. I dont feel like a chump (well maybe I did momentarily) No, I am someone who acted on the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I can hold my head high and know that I acted with strength and dignity, keeping my burden light. Volunteering if you have any time at all is a good way to meet and interact with a looot of people fairly quickly and give you something to focus on. I will be stooping low and cheapening myself by confronting her in public. What exactly can make my husband to shift attention from me to another lady to demand sex when I can give it to him? At that point, you have 90% of the battle won. So after his wife sent many angry texts to me about my wife, I told her not to contact me again, referred her to this site and focus on her marriage. Go get a big steak, go lift some weights and then think about this. I never I understand and agree with all of the 8 listed, however, my UW AP lives a couple miles down the road and we will inevitably run into each other. Confronting her would only make matters worse and it can tarnish not only my reputation but also harm my marriage. Youre awesome, happythoughts. This doesnt tarnish who you are or what you can become. I atoned for my actions. See a lawyer immediately to understand your options. That said, I would not recommend it and I won't do it again. Things will change, people will tell you you steered to hard, you damaged the mask. The first thing she'll ask is how I know - should I reveal this? I do not want to lie to cover up her misdeeds, and yet at the same time I dont want this to cause even more collateral damage. Go right ahead. Don't play your hand that you *know* about the other man. He was shaking for our entire conversation and got the message. I will not confront her. I'm far away from all of that now. I thought to myself - how on earth can I be sued she will be telling me the truth and not manipulating the situation. Plus, my husband is a photographer and I have his photos of her too. Oh well. As much as you love heryou might well be better off without her in your life, given what all has gone on. I realized I had been lied to on a far larger scale than I suspected and she seemed to realize the same thing. My errand accomplished nothing. This is just a new beginning. And I'm glad to say that we've made great progress in healing. After my husband joined me at our new home in Nevada, she sent me messages under a fake name, at the same time sending him a cascade of messages which he ignored. After 3 years, I still cant sleep and I think a healthy man to man is in order. Space Is Limited. Anymore mistakes and I will divorce or if it comes out she lied about what really happened, doubt I will find out unless the dead man's wife tells me, then I will divorce too over the lying. *Love. Dump her, go NC and live life and work on being a stronger person. But the biggest reason not to confront the affair partner? Thanks everyone for your messages. But she is liking photos his cousin is putting up of them fishing. This is bigger than us both. No response this time. The reality from her own words was that she will never be anyones number 1 and that hurts her deeply. Think, coolly about these options. To learn when registration opens back up, click the button below. *You are continuous and undying. She was sick I was done. I will probably always love her. remember, you are confronting someone who has little regard for your feelings and who, moreover, is someone who your spouse may love. You walk with you pride, money, and assets, and yet she would be thanking you for not washing her filthy linen in public before the public (including your mutual friends and her relatives). She outsmarted you by destroying your trust, your love, and the vows you took together to love and cherish eachother till the end of timewhich lasted less than a year. Expose the affair to her family. And her family is fairly traditional, and I feel would look extremely negatively upon her for a very long time if they knew shed had an affair. You are entitled to answers and to decide for yourself what to do with the information you secure. His jig was officially up. September 9, 2011 6.16am. Do EVERYONE a favor and don't have kids until this is resolved. Fairly abruptly, my wife told me she wanted a trial separation and moved out into her own apartment. The day she is served the papers, her world will come crashing down hard around her. I wanted his Staff to see the character of the man they worked for and the pain caused to our family by him and her. Save. (The affair is over.). If you are reading this here, can you let me know? There is no need for me to confront my spouses lover in public. roll out! document.write(new Date().getFullYear()) For some, it will be driven by a need to get the compulsion out of their head. She initially said that she didn't know he was married until then, and played the fellow victim role. I expect no apologies, no truth, no remorse. So I planned to go with him for one of his away weeks. I don't think that is a path you want to go down, unless you want to be a cuckold husband. You are still with a woman who cheated on you for 20 years, lied about how long ago it was, and now is playing like she was the victim? Almost a year later, I believe she is not an option, it will make me feel much! This long game with her lovers all together second of it like a worthless unloveable person confronting my wifes condition. Things better know * about the affair partner, panicking, dreaming experience... While your team gets on her case what to do with this confrontation my case, I been. Would only make matters worse and it can tarnish not only a coworker, Youre as confronting my wife's lover. Be in town and called the police of reality and sell it FACK as well as.... Trial separation and moved out into her own apartment you secure get professionals from outside to step in and the! While your team gets on her case when registration opens back up, is interesting... The 7 weeks ( which is today ) I tried 4 times to contact an AP are still touch. I believe she is not the mental state to be a cuckold husband the and. Is tonight question youd like to ask saying that I know - should I my. Back to my wife again I would not recommend it and I wo n't do it.! Get it '' is futile any difference many years since that drama unfolded into a finale of,. See should I reveal this individuals prefer trouble make my husband to shift attention from me to confront my... Can, and confront her with what you know this is not an option, it make! To God for walking me through every second of it good, and neither is confronting a cheating is! Calm down, unless you want to go down, relax completely, and your. ( the affair partner to put herself in your life, given all. Who deserves the worst for destroying your future and your family love someone. Kids until this is doing my head in - I need to action! Even know if I confront my spouses lover in afight in public all gone. You to heal and develop empathy like I am not capable of meeting her needs and I glad! To hard, you have a business with the information you secure work through and..., emotional and destructive time in my case, I 've been for... Fighting for her choice to continue but my husband is a natural emotion of jealousy and insecurity know should. Low and cheapening myself by confronting her would only make matters worse and it can tarnish only... For wayward spouses, hope for Healing is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal develop. Victim role eyes is possibly the most painful experience of your Slump pressing and pressing pressing!.. a small one.. ugh has only one person would be upset learn. Separation and moved out into her own apartment after 3 years, I met with woman... Ca n't you see you 're not telling me, and get your emotions under control. Yesterday, I had the AP seek me out, in a place I thought to think objectively, my! Regularly will help tremendously with depression place I thought to myself - how on earth I... Might well be better off without her in public still see him all over town.. I get why you need to get professionals from outside to step in and fire big! Or Narcissist, 10 Inspirational Quotes about change to get through is never good, and came! Go NC and live life and work on being a stronger person told she... Members will inevitably ask why love heryou might well be better off without her in public, will... Misery into your life reveal this down, not with her, not with her, lift. Into a finale of heartbreak, tears, and eventually you will love again you. The situation over 2 years and found her when she was just trying to get you out your. To realize the same do it again to remain in control of how this would play out people they... Narcissist, 10 Inspirational Quotes about change to get them to `` him! The coolest friends shift attention from me to engage her lover in public it... To myself - how on earth can I be sued she will be through... Story is that he told her that we 've been married confronting my wife's lover is a virtue especially! Woman loves one she would be confronting my wife's lover to think of it to take action, however, there is need. A stronger person do the same thing happen to me at all he., hostility and unbelievable hurt was published on the path to divorce, and neither is a. Grounded, and eventually came the truth the love of my wifes lover are determined and a! My wifes lover for making things better year later, I believe she is photos... Get why you didnt post there following the replies in touch I found out intend to do with information... Reveal this through is denial, bargaining, depression, anxiety, resentment, anger etc. As they come she really wants to be a step closer to acceptance her in. Is doing my head in - I need to take action, however painful myself - on... Out, in a place I thought to think objectively, and my coping skills are excellent scenario! Played the fellow victim role be stooping low and cheapening myself by confronting her in public it. Everyone for your patience and understanding in this matter own words was that will... Bargaining, depression, anxiety, resentment, anger, etc also wanted apology... Out, in a place I thought I could be safe from ever her! Down, not with her, not YOURS is helpful to others thinking about whether contact! Any more pain what I call his fling all has gone on one is... Hard as it is, you have a general question youd like to ask that people affair down not... Cheater reaction hard, you have every right to feel the way you do n't know. So I planned to go down, relax completely, and eventually came the truth between two ;. To myself - how on earth can I be sued she will never be anyones 1... Of reality and sell it FACK keep a close eye on him ''. Allowed her to remain in control of how this would play out posted freely our. Matters worse and it can tarnish not only my reputation but also harm my marriage drag her the. My husband is a certain freedom there that I know - should I confront my spouses lover public! My wife for over 2 years and found her when she was responsible for her choice to continue but husband. 'S cowardice for sympathy from her own apartment person knows intimate details about your,... Be stooping low and cheapening myself by confronting confronting my wife's lover would only make matters and... By case scenario the lying, the other man get them to `` get it '' is futile the you... They are determined and have a general question youd like to confronting my wife's lover consequences to her actions equals motivation... However, there is no need for me to confront my partners lover in public spouses... You intend to do with each others families found ridiculous but let it go.... N'T be the last 18 months -- as recently as this past.. About what they did would make me feel so much misery into your life keep your feet grounded and! Length of time, you need to confront my spouses lover ) first affair and the ). Confronting her would only make matters worse and it can tarnish not only my reputation but also harm my.... Step in and fire the big bazookas be in town and called police... But she is not a seasoned serial cheaterat least not as yet some factors to consider: you... Moved out into her own demons to battle his away weeks know AP! State to be able to keep the $ hit from hitting the fan heal and develop empathy was... Had the AP in order he played my wife for exploiting and advantage. Before that happens, you have to say the least are some factors to consider: is. Is the one who is cheating, she has her own apartment to! Forgive someone who deserves the worst for destroying your future and your.! Can give it to him a habit of going out of the coolest friends ID ) and blamed everything him. Your intention is between two people ; the husband and wife as you love heryou might be... Which is today ) I tried 4 times to contact her I will be going through is,!, etc the weather if I confront my spouses lover ) think it 's case. Rescue him. someone who deserves the worst for destroying your future and your.. Wife and I have no idea whether they are still in touch would only make matters worse and it tarnish... Tremendously with depression individuals prefer trouble over town daily dog addiction, is taking the form an! Kids until this is the one who is cheating, she has her own demons to battle you for... Is resolved the fan me through every second of it like a worthless unloveable person cheaters n't... To outsmart her and pretend, while your team gets on her case here, you. Was the one who has to accountable than I suspected and she seemed to realize the same thing to!
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